Happy Trip Around the Sun, fellow Earthlings. I spent the first few days of the year organizing my thoughts, taking down my decorations, and detoxing from the Christmas Treat overload. During this time it dawned on me that I am only half honest about alot of things in my life. I am just honest enough about my struggles that I can relate to people if they need the support and that is as far as it goes; most of the time.
My emotions make people uncomfortable. My truths make people uncomfortable. So, I keep them to myself so I can make sure everyone else is ok. The last few years, through much personal dedication and self healing, I have realized this is not fair. Not fair for me or for the ones I love.
I have been working on being more transparent, honest and true to myself.
No one tells you how hard this is when you finally start learning who you are and the people around you treat you differently. The people you used to coddle and walk on eggshells around lose their minds. The people who you let walk all over you suddenly can’t; the world is bass ackwards… and its hard.
So… Welcome to 2024. The year I speak my truth.
Life is short. I could die tomorrow and be gone; poof. I don’t want to leave a lingering memory of the girl who appeased everyone. I don’t want to leave the memory that I am a anarchist bad B who puts everyone in their place either. I want to leave people (whether after death or after any altercation) with the memory of a safe place, a kind smile, a person who sees you as a person; perfecty imperfect.
In 2024, lets be who we are. Don’t let society tell you, don’t let your friends or family tell you; you know, deep down, what makes your heart sing.
Let’s find ourselves this year.
Amber St Hilaire 